Thursday, September 4, 2008
SO ANGRY
I got a little fucked over by my moving company and have been spooning Lydia on my hardwood floor for the last 4 nites. They say they will deliver my bed and 40,000 pairs of shoes today, but when they do I want to have choice words prepared for them. Not to hurt them as much as to soothe me and quench my anger. Please tell me your top 3 most satisfyying cuss words or terms of hatred. I will add them to the song of fury that I will sing to these &**#$%@#%^*&^** holes!!!! I will think of you as i dine on their souls and demolish their self esteem.
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3 comments:
i always liked calling someone a disk-ass. move the fuck out of the way dick-ass. nice job dick-ass
I like how you are trying to steal my glory... I say actions speak louder than words.. how about you give them those horse laxative brownies like in that commercial.. make sure you do a nice plastic surgery smile...
Heeeeeeeee
In my experience, the quickest way to offend people, even random passersby that are not your primary target, is with racism. Yep that's right, start with the usual slurs, then accuse their ancestors of ridiculous (and historically inaccurate) feats. Then make up your own slurs that compare them in an offensive light to animals. [Oh yeah, throughout this entire process you should laugh manically, while gesturing and pointing at your target.] You can polish this off by making fun of something else that they can't control. Movers are usually over weight too. So you can always throw in something clever like "Jesus fatass, maybe you would have gotten here quicker if you didn't stop to eat every 15 minutes! Don't look at me like that, I know you're hungry! You're practically drooling on my stoop and you make me sick!!" [Then slam the door in their faces for theatrics.] I'll have to warn you though, you might surpass being "offensive" and go straight to evoking a murderous rage. Also you probably won't get your stuff back, so usually only use these sort of tactics when the targets of your verbal abuse have no leverage on you and you probably won't see them ever again. Hope this helps, and good luck with the stuff.
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