Well, you know, in ancient times, there was a huge earthquake which set free this big gust of energy, which let out a crap load of radiation, which affects the blood flow at certain times in the lunar cycle, and that's why women get their periods.
Shit can get confusing. We understand, but maybe we can clear up some of time's greatest mysteries. What's one thing that you really don't understand but probably should? How do you bullshit your way through conversations when the topic arises? And why, for the love of God, haven't you Wikipediaed for answers?
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3 comments:
First of all, Lydia.... Did Monday become the new Tuesday and now you think you can try on my blog day for size? It's fine, I dont hold a vendetta.
Anyways, so to answer your question: In all honesty, I do not understand how anything works. I am not technically inclined but am obnoxiously creative so I make up my own answers to my secret-dummy science questions. I am fine with the fact that I believe that magic dust makes the TV work, fairies power the internet and the same voodoo that makes witches brooms fly has been harnessed and is used to power airplanes.
My one saving grace is that I have married my intellegence opposite and now know the answer I will provide to all my future childrens science & technology related questions: "Go ask Dad, he knows more about that stuff", (notice, I pretend I knew SOME things about it but recommend the child go to his or her father for the full story).
You may think I am getting an easy ride on the shoulders of my genius husband, but actually it all evens out. The other day my husband went to the tatoo shop to get a new tattoo drawn up. He brought along a sketch I made of his potential new tattoo. I asked him later if he told the tattoo shop that his wife drew the tattoo sketch and he confessed that he pretended he drew it and it made him feel pretty good because he thinks that he doesnt draw very well.
So, If you are pushing 30 and you still just dont know a lot of stuff about stuff or just cant do certain things very well, at least be smart enough to marry someone who can fill in the blanks for you once and a while.
And for crying out loud, dont piss off witches and fairies unless you want to go down in flames on a plane or lose access to the internet.
Oh Lydia, the can (candy bar) of worms that you just opened....my head spins at the gazillion comments I want to leave.
The tide still blows my mind. Space...I for sure don't understand space...it makes my head hurt when I try to wrap it around its vastness.
Brains...good Lord, how is it possible that we're only using a percentage of our brain?? And why can't I ever remember where I parked my van?
What the heck is de ja vu...how is it even possible?
How come lots of people claim they only dream in black and white...do they need software updates or something?
Jellyfish...what do you mean they don't have brains?
But, if I had to choose ONE...sadly, it'd have to be algebra. Or calculus. Math is for sure my weakness, which is exactly why I've yet to become a doctor, a computer programmer or Einstein. Otherwise I would totally be all of those things.
Repeating is the best faker of all. A little word switcher-roo, some semantical rearranging and I'm able to pass for a semi-non-mathmatically challenged gal...and when all else fails, hell yes I just point out how incredibly long my legs are...whatever it takes to keep up the facade of my amazingness.
I am clueless about the vastness of the universe and the possibility of time travel. But this is by choice because these topics terrify me.
Basically, anything that has to do with infinity makes me uneasy, so I just tune out if the topic comes up. There's something about all that we don't know that is probably a gagillion miles away that doesn't sit well with me. I'm not afraid of aliens, it's just that we can't get Earth figured out, so let's stay focused, people. Also, pi (like in algebra class) scares the shit out of me. How are we okay with a number that never ends? I would probably know the answer to that if I had paid attention in math class...
Similarly, I've been to a few friendly get-togethers when someone argues how time travel is possible. Something with wormholes, I think. I seriously leave the room until the topic turns to something tangible.
So if you wanna talk outer space or new dimensions, I will look attentive for about 20 seconds and then need to make an urgent "phone call."
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