Monday, May 24, 2010
GET RICH QUICK!
God or the President or Ed McMahon call and say you win FIVE MILLION DOLLARS, but there is one stipulation: You have to get a tattoo on your neck and it has to be at least as big as a dollar bill. You can chose whatever beautiful design you want though. If the task is worth five million clams to you, please describe your new neck art.
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6 comments:
Gab's idea: she would have the names of all of the people in her family tatted on the back of her neck...so don't anger her or you might not make the list.
Mine would be a simple, yet useful message:
"Please rub here, here and here"
I'd have them strategically placed at all of the best neck pressure points. That way I could hide them when needed (say when the nasty-three-toothed man from the library is waiting in line behind me) and tie my hair up when I need a good rub down (like maybe the next time my sister is in a movie with J.Depp and they need me to bring in an extra umbrella...).
Brilliant idea Shan! I for sure can't top that one. All I can say is that I would definitely get ANY neck tattoo for five million dollars.
If I had to choose, it would have to be something hideous because first of all, it would go with my hideous tattoo motif I already have going on and secondly because.. well it would give me a much better excuse for having another hideous one (i.e. "GOD made me get this!").
So my pick would be:
Fred Flinstone about to slide down my spine.. like he does on that Brontosaurus.
I would get a five million dollar bill with Ed McMahons face on it. Or I would have it say "What are you looking at!?!"
Or I would have it say: "I'll buy you something if you dont judge me?"
OR I would have it say "Mama Tried" (Merle Haggard song about a troublesome yougster who turned 21 in prison, doin life without parole) -So I would look really bad ass.
Its tough to decide, Tattoos are a forever kind of thing :)
Now that I think about it, maybe just a ham sandwich or something?
At the very least (and so as to not copy my brother) I could get one of a snack tray...
I'd get my neck tattooed to look like I was wearing more jewelry than Mr. T.
Gold chains upon gold chains, and a huge, blue, Heart-of-the-Sea pendant in the middle (for the Titanic fans out there).
This would mainly be a backup. I'd buy all the real jewelry with my new-found wealth, and wear it all at the same time. But, if I ever got a rash and needed to let my skin breathe, I'd have the tattoo there to remind folks that I am fucking rich, and that "I'll never let go" of my status.
Either that or a banner that reads, "Yeah, I do think I'm better than you."
I'd get one that read, "OUCH!"
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